UGHHHHH OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO KNOCK SOMEONE

So, it turns out that Beau cheated on me. Good fucking times. I just found out this morning, and Beau himself didn't even tell me. (I'm not going to go into details about how I found out) Here are some stupid signs that I only half saw as reasons why something like this might happen:

1) Friday night, which was when it would've happened, he went out for dinner and bowling with her. They also got drunk. And given that the only things I've heard of her are her sexual escapades, I didn't trust the situation at all. Then he called me at 3 am to say that his step-dad was driving him home, so he was going to get there safely. Randy would never in a million years pick Beau up at that time on a Friday night, because he would be drunk and lazy. Plus, he was at a party at Jericho, and his parents live in New West. There is NO WAY that that would've/could've happened.
- also, I asked him if he'd driven her home that night, and he said yes. Umm, if the car ride never happened, and he somehow got her home..where did they go?

2) We went and had dinner with his Dad on Saturday, and when he first saw me he looked like he was going to cry. I looked really good that night, I'm not going to lie, and he couldn't stop talking about how happy he was he was with me. Before the movie, we were downstairs having a smoke in this alley thing that we used to blaze in all the time when I worked at Metrotown. That was when he told me that he's been so depressed lately that he's been unable to even think of having sex. I didn't really question it, because when I'm not entirely happy, I'm not down to have sex either, so I thought nothing of it. Besides, I had my period so I wasn't about to bone him anyway. During the movie he seemed super distant (how does one even seem distant during a movie? Well, he did it), and wouldn't hold my hand. When I asked him what was going on, he smiled and acted like nothing was wrong, but it was obvious that he had something on his mind.

3) He slept over at my house that night, and groped me like a mother fucker. It was to the point that I actually had to tell him to fuck off and stop. After that, he sent me to bed, as though I was 5 years old, and promptly began texting Alaina, who'd sent him two messages earlier that night which he recieved, but didn't look at - I saw him get them too, and when I asked him who he was texting, he said "oh..no one. don't worry about it" and that was the end of that. Which seems pretty much like, "oh hey, you cannot see this, because she's saying some things that you don't want to hear/see", how lovely, hey?

4) When we actually broke up, he said all this shit about "don't worry, we'll be happy with other people, just give it some time" and made me swear that we'd be able to be friends.
UM, NOT IF YOU CHEATED ON ME, WE WON'T.

5) He talked to my brother today, and asked him what he thought of Alaina, to which he replied "uhhhh, didn't you just break up with my sister?!". And he's bringing her out to a show on Friday, which I was supposed to go to.

I could fucking knock someone.

I can't believe that I trusted him. Ever. All he's ever done was hurt me and bring me problems, and now it really finally shows. I'm done. Absolutely and utterly.

haha guess what?!

i'm writing this at work right now, because thats how chill my job is.

SUCKASSSSSSS

ahh blog, i've missed you!

I don't even really know where to start - it's been so long!

I've been super up and down lately, which is odd because I don't normally suffer from mood swings. As of recently (as in the past couple of days) it's been so bad I've nearly burst into tears on several occasions: like yesterday when I was on my way home from work and the bus was 20 minutes late so I had to wait in the rain. Not a big deal, I know, but it was painful. I hope this goes away soon, because I hate it, and have noooo idea how to deal with myself right now.

On the other hand! My work is awesome! Granted, I work mostly with old people (my boss opened the store with her husband 25 years ago), but the young people I work with are pretty sweet. It's sooooo chill there too. We sit around all day and don't ever have to initiate talking to anyone - which is super nice compared to Lush, where we had to talk to every person within 30 seconds of them coming into the store. We also don't have to sweep or mop, and the only tidying up we ever have to do is of the Thomas set that the kids play with.
BY THE WAY, I love Thomas!


We're the only store in the market that sells Thomas, so learning about him was very important and intense. We have over 20 characters in the store, and about a billion different sets that people can buy ranging from $40-$350. It's cool and all, but it's absolutely ridiculous how much parents'll spend on their kids, especially when this particular group is aimed at kids from about 1-7 years old. Ayaaaaa
But yeah but yeah but yeah, I'm getting paid $10/hour, and I'm working 5 days a week = MONAY IN DA BANK. The only semi-shitty thing is that I'm not going to be full time until at least October...but I do have weekends off! Anyway, I'm happy about all that.

Bahhh I don't even know what else is going on. Uh, I watch a lot of Law and Order:SVU because we have hella channels now? ahah thats really about it.

Hopefully now that I've bitten the bullet I can actually start writing on here again - maybe even at work, cause we're allowed to go on the internet? =D


Big Brother Blog, coming soon!