i've been homeless, i've been out on a limb

I'm...a douchebag? And I don't make any sense, but I'm frustrated.
I'm getting to the point where I'm starting to get sick of the way I'm living, and the direction some of my friendships are going in. Long story short - I feel like I have more drinking/drug buddies than real friends. This is particularily the case when it comes to Josh, who has been unable to be there for me when it comes to real situations, but is always/only wanting to hang out if we can smoke a bowl. I really needed him a couple of days ago, and he was too busy blazing and hanging out with, of all people, one of my ex-boyfriends (go figure?!).
I tried to call him on it yesterday, and he freaked out and stopped talking to me entirely.
And then today he called and asked what "you guys" are up to, even though he knew I was home alone with no plans for the evening, and said that we should all get together sometime for a blaze sesh in the next couple of days. THIS IS EXACTLY MY POINT, YOU FUCK. Friends are supposed to just be able to hang out, without just having to get baked, (right?).

I..do not know how I feel about this. I guess I just have to chill for a bit and work a bunch and just stay away. Ugh. Fuck.

And my wisdom teeth are coming out on Monday! I AM SO SCARED OH MY LORD. Eeeee at least I get T3's!
Plus I just spent a bunch of money on new clothes and makeup, so once I'm recovered I'm gonna look and feel purdyyyy.

Mmmm also, the boy sitch is about the same. I had a humiliating experience involving rum at his place the other day, but thankfully he's still talking to me after it all ahahha. And he's said that he's gonna come with me to the double feature of Edward Scissorhands and The Nightmare Before Christmas at the Rio next Friday. Soooo that's cool. Yay public appearance! And he's leaving to go back home for Christmas, which is totally okay because I won't have any time for him around then anyway!
+ he's going to come over and take care of me after I have my teeth taken out =)
I'm happy!