There has been a twist!

Saddddd. Casey's gone! Better him than Jordan though, I guess. Big Brother this season has been all for taking out the nice people, and leaving the schemers in, like Ronnie, Jesse, Natalie and Russell, it's just silly. (Also, Russell was the only one to vote Jordan out - not down!)

But there were two other surprises last night:
1) The cliques have been sepreated! Now no one will be protected when a team-member win's HOH - everyone has to fend for themselves. The show is definetely going to get more intense now, because the houseguests are going to have to rely on their alliances more than ever, and hope to god that they don't get stabbed in the back. We'll see how this unfolds!

2) The best of the two surprises, the new Coup d'Etat meaning, AMERICA/CANADA GETS TO VOTE. We, the viewers, now have the option of voting for a houseguest, who can then use the power of the Coup d'Etat to save the two nominees for eviction, and put their own nominees up just minutes before the vote. This means that everyone will have to really think about how they feel about each and every houseguest, and figure out what they would do in the event that they were up on the block. Also, the power of the Coup d'Etat is something that only the one who posesses it will know about - meaning, the other houseguests won't be told, so they can't think of gameplans. It's totally spur of the moment voting.
This, honestly, has been one of the coolest twists in any reality show I've ever seen. I love that I now have some kind of domination over the show!
Vote Jordan or Kevin! (or Jeff!) http://www.cbs.com/primetime/big_brother/interact/americas_vote/

And as a final gift from me to you, because you all care so much, here are some photos from the Big Brother fan group on Facebook. (I have some seeeerious issues)

power couple power couple! Aw man, they're adorable!

They're both so lame.

Ronnie wants da cock!

.....Seriously. This is not okay.

Monkey man Russell, so awesome yet so terrible.

I think this is the best picture I've ever seen.

luv u, Kevin.

letting go

To the boy who I used to love more than anything in the world,
the boy who said he'd never hurt me,
the boy who is losing himself,
the boy who still matters the most,
Beau Bennett.

I don't care if this embarasses you. I don't care if your friends, or anyone else for that matter, see's. I don't care if this makes you hate me forever, because it needs to be said.

I'm sitting here right now, thinking about what you're up to. And I know exactly what you're up to, and thats what bothers me so much. I know that at this moment, you're doing the one thing in the world that never fails to bring me to tears: you're getting fucked up. You're sitting in a shitty basement doing lines with your best friend, and trying to forget all about me. But I know you're thinking about me, because you know how much what you're doing hurts me.
Once upon a time, you promised me you'd take care of yourself, because you had greater plans in life than to end up like some of your friends. I didn't want the promise to be for me - but for yourself, because that's the one person you should never let down. When I told you that my greatest fear was that you would start doing drugs again, you cried. You promised never to make me feel that way ever again, because you know what its like to be let down. I believed you.
I believed with all of my heart that you would be the person that you had all the potential of being, and you were for a while - you were doing so much better. When we broke up, all that stopped. I started hearing that you were spending your days getting stoned and playing video games, never leaving Skylin's basement unless it was to pick up more weed.

I want to think that you're going to be better soon, once you get over me, but at this point I have no reason to feel that way. You're wasting your life, your intelligence, and your talent for absolutely nothing. I know the potential you have, because I've seen it. You could be one of the most amazing teachers in the world one day, you just have to set your mind to it and work for it. Right now, I want you to prove me wrong. Prove to me that you can be something, and make something of yourself, instead of living like a low life. Show me that you're better than your Mom, your friends, and any memory you have, and that you can do great things with yourself. MAKE ME SORRY to have doubted you. I want to one day apologize for ever thinking you couldn't do it, and for thinking that you might stay where you are right now.
Make something of yourself, because you can.

I love you. I always will love you, but you've let me down more than you can even imagine. I'll always have a place for you, even if we can never be around each other, let alone together, again. Just the same, you owe it to yourself to get some help, so that you don't end up an alcoholic, domestically abused, junkie like your Mother. Find someone who will be smart enough to medicate you, and figure your shit out. Learn to trust and love people again, and to get over the insecurities that tore us apart. Treat the next girl better than you treated me, and love her the way she deserves.

I hope that someday you'll remember me fondly, and not have any regrets. I hope you learn from everything that happened in every aspect of our relationship.
Please don't hate me for too long, because I really only want the best for you.

Love always,
Claire

Big Brother Big Brother Big Brother~!

Aw man, it's getting intense now. The boys in the house have decided to stay on Ronnie's side, and Jesse didn't put him up for eviction when he won HOH. EXCUUUUUSE ME?! I thought this was a done deal and that Ronnie would be out!Instead, Jesse put up Jordan and Michelle as pawns to get Casey out some other time.

But k, here's the thing: Michelle is a complete waste of time and space in the house. She doesn't do anything, she sides with the majority, and she sits around on her ass all day long. I know that sounds like a smart game plan, but it's boring to watch. If she doesn't make a move soon, I might be tempted just to mute the scenes when she's on. I know she's a member of the brains, but she isn't playing the game that smartly.



So anyway, the Power of Veto competition took place, and Michelle ended up winning. FUCK! I love Jordan so much, and she's one of my favorite players in the game. This slightly sunk her ship - or I guess more-so dented it, because Michelle wasn't all that liked in the house to begin with. Between the two of them, Michelle was definetely the one to go.
Obviously someone had to be put up on the block to replace Michelle, and Jesse decided to stab his ally in the back and put Casey up.

Now, I'm not a huge fan of Casey - he actually kind of pisses me off. He's the 5th grade teacher/dj at some lame clubs in a small town. He's cocky and looks like what a poor, white, Snoop impersonator. Groooossss. But he's been doing pretty well so far in the game, and has been getting along with everyone - or so he thought. Jesse putting him up on the block instead of Ronnie was one of the biggest slaps in the face in the game.

So much drama....I love it!

I've figured it out!

After like, forever and ever and ever of thinking about it, I've finally figured out boys. Well, kinda. They will never be happy unless they're chasing you - meaning, once you give in and let them know that they can have you, they're no longer interested. This has been the case with every male I've ever even gotten close to, and low and behold, its happening again.
So, the new plan is to be hard to get for the first time in my life. No contact whatsoever. If it doesn't happen because of my lack of effort, then so be it, but I will not be the one to give in. I'm going to be chased and desired and not used, and its going to be a permanent thing.

Good day!

Today has been one of the best day's I've had in a while.
I woke up this morning and went out with Britt, and we went and got slurpees and wandered the drive. Then we went to this block of garage sales and I bought a really gorgeous lace vest for $1.50. SO HYPED. Britt ended up getting a bunch of planting pots and some bowls and a really cute leather bag for like, 7 bucks total or something? Things like that make me love summer, because its the only time of year you can be out for a walk and come across a bunch of cool things.
Afterwards I went over to Sophie's house, and we spent the afternoon lounging in the sun, eating food and blazing. It was a lovely time. Over the course of the day Ella, Kieran, Marissa, Deo, Patrick and her cousin Dinah all came over and joined in on the festivities, and we had a lovely old time. Dinah's really cool and chill and we get along quite well - she also looks a lot like me and said I could possibly borrow her i.d sometime! Cool!

Now tonight is one of those nights where it's necessary to sit at home and watch a cute girly movie with candles lit all around = that's my plan. I'm going to consume lots of popcorn and watch the movie "The Tracey Fragments" (I'll be posting about that one sometime later) with Marija and Lily.




It's so muggy and nice right now, and I'm unbelievably cozy. Plus the sky is red and theres thunder and lighting, and it's absolutely pouring right now. Mmmmm what a good day.

(have some pictures!)

Stoner baby!

the view from my house


so much water!

this side was sooo grey!

japanese kitty stationary makes me happy.

Aw man, I got a letter from Simon today! So exciting and nice! I miss him already.

"Hey there,
So, I'm on the plane and I just read your YB message. Just so you know, it was picture perfect..Well, almost. As I read the words the plane started taking off, then I looked out as a single tear fell onto the pages and then that one Hilary Duff song you put on my iPod came on and ruined the Kodak montage. I realized that I never signed yours so slip this letter in there somewhere and we'll call it even. As for visiting, come anytime; my place is your place. I also think we should be penpals maybe? to help keep in touch? Oh and don't worry, I've made arrangements for Mario (the game, by the way) ....it's safe and awaiting your arrival, but enough of my departure! Its time for cheesy but useful wisdom in my pseudo-signing:

Claire, m'dear, this is Simonskeet. Thanks for being my best highschool bud! You're a true brah. We sure had a lot of fast times, good times, sweet times and rockin' times. Thanks for all of them. But I need to thank you the most for the shit times that made us stronger. I owe you an apology you see, late in grade 12 I realized a hypocrissy in myself. I'm living proof that you should make yourself #1, cause if you can't help yourself, how can you help others? And its okay to let people down, so long as you help them up again. Well then, time to leave you with a quote:
"The Great thing about ruins is onlu beauty comes from them; you can admire the mystery and memories or rebuild anew, repairing the mistakes of before" - Harrison Ford

I prefer the latter. Catch you on the flipside, space cowgirl.

xoxo Simonski

p.s, it's Bop-Ding! I win!"



My heart is bursting with love.

Ahh the power of film.

Consider the film "He's just not that into you" as an ode to dumb females everywhere.

Girls will all tell each other "no, no, he's soooooo down for you, just wait" and then they'll wait, and wait, and nothing'll ever happen. We all think we're being helpful, but really, we're only getting each others hopes up.

What I guess I'm trying to say is that girls, as helpful as they may be sometimes, are absolutely clueless. We have no idea what boys are thinking, or why they do (or don't do) what they do. We just have to deal. Boys will flake and fuck up as much as they like, and really, as a female, the only thing any of us can do is read into it and hope that we're not being totally stupid.

Really, we're all screwed.